It finally arrived! The first day of school! I've been waiting for it for the past 3 months...the summer was way too long!
And...I only had one class...haha. But! It was a GREAT class!
Fine Arts in Western Culture with Dr. Brian Larsen.
This class is perfect for me. It's an amazing opportunity to learn about art with a theological perspective, it just makes me more passionate about what I already love.
Amazing.
Here's my first day of school picture...it's a tradition!
I hate bad dreams, they put your whole day in a funk.
Last night I dreamt of my family killing people in the Vietnam war...horrible.
Tonight I had really weird dreams, lame.
And I woke up crying, extra lame.
That's never happened before, weird.
It didn't help that I forgot what day it was and freaked out when my phone started buzzing with Dan Lance on the other line...totally thought our meeting was today...I hate over sleeping so I freaked.
And then I would turn over and sleep some more in weird dreamland and then my phone would wake me up again and again with it's buzz buzz buzz.
Now I'm up. Sitting on the couch in my pjs...drinking coffee and trying to imagine today.
And now Damian Rice's Volcano came on shuffle...I miss my friend Sarah.
But the I am reminded that there is beautiful street art all over the world and then I am happy.
Here we go. It's going to be tough but who said life was easy?
My challenge: A blog a day. (Okay...so I'm a little inspired by Julie & Julia).
No matter how large or small, it's bound for greatness.
Today: A Profound Thought by Hannah Rae Klose
"I wore a fedora today. It was a good day. I should wear a fedora everyday.
Seriously...I'm looking for people who want some of my stuff...
clothes (sizes range from small to large), shoes (9-11), nic naks, books, jewelry, purses (and backpacks, messenger bags, lugguge), hats (Fedoras, beanies, newsboy), scarves (it won't be summer forever), decor stuff, bedding
Let me know if you need anything...somethings will be free some I will sell...I'll post pictures soon.
I just really need to get rid of stuff...too much, it's taking over my life.
So my Volvo has been dead for exactly a year today...haha. And there is no hope of Theodore ever making a comeback...but there is hope!
I found the volvo of my dreams and it's in my price range...Jesus please let them not sell it to anyone else before the end of the summer!
crazy things are happening in and through my life group.
people are getting healed.
people are meeting God.
people are going to rehab after four years of herion abuse.
people are following God's plan and forsaking their own because they know it's better.
people are gaining courage to step out in faith.
people are following their dreams.
7 girls drinking coffee.
7 girls eating snacks.
7 girls laughing.
7 girls living life together.
questions? ask me. oh...i'll tell you.
Fact: There is more to blog about during the school year. I really want school to start.
Fact: I have a painting displayed in the new Hilltop Yaks...pretty cool...even if it is hung by the bathroom.
Fact: I have like 3 other paintings that I need to do.
This was done 2 weeks ago at the Stirring...it has a pretty cool story.
This was my first- buy canvas' for the stirring.
- buy canvas for simpson and do the painting for chapel. extraordinary love.
- hang out with kate.
- have bbq with my brother's future-in-laws.
- spend some time in the sun.
- work my life away at the eye doctor, remembering why i'm there and to love it.
- house sit with kristena for the edwardson's.
- find out why my face it breaking out.
- fix my volvo.
- go to oregon or idaho, where ever sarah is.
- go to santa cruz with jacob.
- have pie with the coverdales.
- save money.
- hang out with jacob as much as possible.
- talk to some people i haven't in a while.
- finish my book.
and I apologize, it's been a crazy one...so instead of a deep blog, I will just give everyone update.
End of April...I finished school, crazy...my first year of college is done and honestly I'm ready for Fall, I like school and I like the schedule of my life when I'm in school.
Beginning of May...
this guy...he's amazing and he's my boyfriend. I seriously can't believe that it's possible for me to be so happy...seriously. Jacob Wise, we've been sorta-friends for years but never really hung out outside of huge group things and in March we hung out on accident...and what do they say... "the rest is history?" Did I mention he's amazing.
Other things of May...When God Dreams...
My life was crazy getting ready for this thing...clouds consumed my dreams, but it turned out pretty sweet and the conference was amazing!
May 11th...I started working again. Full time, back at the eye doctor. Cool stuff is happening, God is so amazing. I changed my outlook and attitude walking back into that place and He is making it so easy for me! I love working with patients and talking with strangers hearing about their lives.
May 13th...started my life group. I've never lead one before, and I really felt like this is what I had to do. "What's in your hand?" is all that comes to my mind. In my hands I'm surrounded my young girls and women that I know nothing about, and I'm called to speak into them? How's that going to work...so life group was the only option! and I've never been so excited about something. The girls in my group are AWESOME! I look forward to every Wednesday!
So that's my life...I promise I'll keep everyone more updated!
Love.
(Photo by: Mr. Brent Van Auken)
Wesley Jensen and the Wildcats put on an amazing show last night. It was so much fun to be apart of...they even let me design their set...it's looks pretty sweet (I'm a little proud).
It was a wonderful evening full of musical genius', confetti, brooms, cardboard houses, yerbe mate tea and dancing in the street.
I couldn't ask for a better life.
and this is what i found...
i almost cried. so great.
10 hours and i will be done. freedom from school for four months. hallelujah.
Praise the Lord oh my soul and let all within me praise His name. Praise the Lord oh my soul and let all within me praise His name.
Praise the Lord oh my soul and let all within me praise His name. Praise the Lord oh my soul and let all within me praise His name.
For I will not die I will live and I will tell of the works of the Lord and sing of His wonders. I will not die I will live. I will not die I will live. Because He's a great God.
I get to love you through whatever comes, what a privilige. I get to love you through whatever comes, oh how sweet it is! I get to love you through whatever comes, what a privilige. I get to love you through whatever comes, oh how sweet it is.
And nothing's going to take your praise out of my mouth as long as I shall live.
And nothing's going to take your praise out of my mouth as long as I shall live.
I will not die I will live. I will not die I will live and I will tell of the works of the lord, I will sing of his wonders!
I will not die I will live. I will not die I will live and I will tell of the works of the lord, I will sing of his wonders!
And nothing's going to take your praise out of my mouth as long as I shall live.
And nothing's going to take your praise out of my mouth as long as I shall live because He's a great God, you're a great God!
So I'm sitting in my World Civilization class...we're having a debate about if capitalism can survive globalization...
I love when people bring Jesus into their ridiculous arguements...like capitalism is the best from of government...and in the 1000 year reign...bladdy bladdy blah!
"ARE YOU CALLING JESUS A CAPITALIST?!?!"
The homeless man, who didn't have a place to lay his head. The man who took one little boy's bread and fish and multiplied it and fed 500 people?!
And so often Christians think Capitalism is best and Socialism is from hell...I'm not taking either side, I think there are good parts in each...but if you look at what the original church looked like, the Acts Church... "All believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need."
Chew on that.
to keep myself from punching someone in the neck...
I was in my Oral Comm class listening to speeches.
One kid spoke on the 2nd Amendment...haha oh joy...I knew where he was going.
He actually quoted scripture...he didn't say the verse address but I'm pretty sure he took it out of context from Luke 22...when Jesus says "...if you don't have a sword, sell your cloak and buy one." He followed this by "IT IS GOD's WILL FOR YOU TO BARE ARMS!"
HA! That's when I lost it, I couldn't look at him and take him seriously.
Doesn't Jesus also tell Peter "for all who draw the sword will die by the sword"?
Okay...word vomit complete. On to happier things.
Slumdog Millionaire comes out on DVD today, I'm going to buy it right after this class (yes...I'm in Sociology, it's not that interesting)!
Women's retreat tomorrow. I'm so excited...but I'm also bummed about missing out on the stuff going on back in Redding...I hate missing out on stuff. I think it comes from when I was a little kid. Every time I would spend the night at my grandma's, my mom and brother would do something really fun without me, and I would get so angry! haha...since then, even when I'm doing something fun like women's retreat or playing dress up and watching Nick as Nite (like at Grandma's) I don't want to miss anything.
Next weekend I'm going to Long Beach to spend time with my best friends Stephanie and Jesse, so pumped! And I really want my brother to drive up from San Diego and spend Easter with me...hopefully!
I don't think I've ever been more excited for a movie, ever! and the soundtrack sounds epic!
http://www.hoongle.com
it's exactly like Google, but for every search you do, they donate 20 grains of rice to malnourished children.
use it. save the world.
on another note...I have 3 more classes left and then it's SPRING BREAK!
My plans for the break...
Painting, painting, painting...(3 paintings, one mural at the Gafner home, and 8-10 10ft. houses for Wes' show at the Cascade)
San Francisco with my dear friend Lori, not plans just walking and looking at beautiful places and people.
So good.
I keep saying this. If you look at my real journal...it's how every page begins...
and even though life is crazy, it's so good at the same time. Although I know I'm in a storm, I know God is constant and ALWAYS good. Although I fear man, I know it's pointless. Although my mind is full, I know I can focus my thoughts and give it all to Him. I know this all to be true, but it doesn't make it any easier.
My mind is full. And the hardest part, it's stuff I can't talk about, because it all involves other people and me. It's not only my problem, I think if it was only my problem it would be a whole lot lighter of a load.
I need grace. I need to embrace the grace that has been offered to me.
Gahh!
But I want to make it clear, I am okay, I'm great. God is good and faithful and good!
and here's a cool artist i found... Lawrence Yang
just realized my link didn't work in yesterday's blog...
http://www.zanorg.com/prodperso/automachine.htm
and although i miss the sunshine, i know it shall return.
this is the calm after the storm. this week is going to be so less busy...haha...only one presentation.
then spring break (relaxation, riding my bike, building/painting some houses, going to SF for a day, and i'm sure hanging out with wonderful people)!
then it's 3 weeks till finals. weird. a 4 month summer.
i need to get ready for church and do some homework.
listening to: sunbears!
I have had a test every single week since the beginning of February.
I just finished my last one 10 minutes ago and now I don't have one till April 4th! Whoop!
Spring Break: 8 days away!
Can't wait!!!
Above is some pretty sweet art I stumbledupon: Andre Petterson
I gave up on lent. Well not really...I still plan on practicing it with my morning cup of coffee. The Lord has taught me/showed me so much these past few weeks. He has shared dreams, visions, and place people on my heart. I have been able to focus on him through prayer and crazy things are happening.
I have never paid attention to this holiday or season of lent ever in my life until this year...
The only reason I even thought about it was because I got an email from Blood:Water Mission, who are having a lent campaign of fasting every beverage except water and donating the money you would have spent of coffee, soda and so on...to their cause of building wells in Africa.
But as I prepared myself for sacrificing my beloved beverages, I realized how much my coffee drinks and tea are such a distraction for me. I can not start my day with out a cup of coffee, I don't ever miss it, I can't...but for some reason I have trouble starting my day with the Lord...getting in the Word and easing into my day prayerfully. So even though this season of lent will be difficult, I am so excited for all the God is going to do.
I also had the pleasure of participating in an Ash Wednesday service at All Saints Episcopal Church tonight. It was so amazing! Christian and I walked in having no idea what to expect, and it was so powerful! It was awesome to step into an environment that was not "normal feeling" but I felt so comfortable. The things the bishop had said seemed to relevant to what I am walking in right now, and also things that we talk about at the Stirring.
The practices were not something that seemed run by works and doing this or that and not knowing why, but really understanding and honor something so powerful that has been done for thousands of years. I really can't say anything but how amazing it was. Christian and I didn't even talk on the way back to campus, I think were both just process that amazingness we had just experienced! haha!
And I left the ash on my head, at first because I had no idea if you're supposed to keep in on for a certain amount of time or not, but then I found out that a few hours or however long you wanted was okay...so I left it (my hair covered it up mostly anyway). It's supposed to be a cross but my hair got in the way when he did it...ha.
Well...I haven't thrown up in 24 hours but all I have in my body is 4 saltine crackers (not an exaggeration) and a few electrolyte enhanced apple drinks.
It started around 7:30pm Monday night.
Didn't stop until 8am Tuesday...yepp 13 hours straight...hell.
I watched law and order SVU...no lie...from 2am till 8pm. RIDICULOUS.
I thought it was food poisoning because it was exactly like last time I had it, but I just read Shelby's blog and she said she had the flu, with all the same symptoms as me...All I know is that I feel like I am going to die, it's just a little less painful now.
Off to email the professors! I should be out and about tomorrow!
I think I might have had the best V day ever! The day started out with me making a "Saint V Day Love Mix" which I listened to all day and now I am going to pass it on to Mrs. Amy Coverdale because it has been far too long since we exchanged mixes. Every single song has the word love in the title...plus the song "I Want to Hold Your Hand" (only because it's such a great song, I'm especially fond of the Across The Universe version...so here's the play list....
start things off with...
1. I Want to Hold Your Hand - T.V. Carpio
2. All My Loving - Jim Sturgess
3. All You Need Is Love - Dana Fuchs & Jim Sturgess
4. If There's Love - Citizen Cope
5. Love is a Fast Song - Copeland
6. All is Full of Love - Deathcab
7. Better Than Love - Griffin House
8. Oh, It's Love - Hellogoodbye
8. How Sweet It Is (To be Loved By You) - James Taylor
9. My Love Goes Free - Jon Foreman
10. Lovely Tonight - Joshua Radin
11. I Wanna Be Your Lover - K.S. Rhoads
12. Love Is No Big Truth - Kings of Convienence
13. Love Is Something - MoZella
14. Inside of Love - Nada Surf
15. Your Love - The Outfield
16. Love is a Battlefield - Pat Benatar
17. Be Be Your Love - Rachel Yamagata
18. Love That Girl - Raphael Saadiq
19. (I Wanna) Call It Love - Sondre Lerche
20. Lover's Lie - Vedera
21. Love Doesn't Last To Long - The Weepies
Basically I just put love in the "search engine thing" and picked the good ones. ha!
Okay! On with the day! So I was very productive on my Saturday, even though it's my Sabbath, I have Monday off of school so I want to fully enjoy that day! So I went to Starbucks on Lake Blvd., got a London Fog in a for here cup and sat and did home work for 2 hours. (I finished all I have to do and today I'm even getting ahead and doing this whole weeks worth of work!)
I then grabbed some food and headed over to the Miller's house to hang out with the kids so Kristen and Randy could enjoy Valentines day with Meg and Jeremy! I seriously had so much fun. The kids pillow fought and I refereed. We watched Sponge Bob, we ate popcorn, we watched a little of Prince Caspian on my laptop, we played with Photobooth on my computer...it was a blast!
Then I headed back to campus, got things ready for the Stirring and the I am Jonah series...and then watched Juno with a group of amazing girls back in my dorm!
I honestly don't think I've ever had a better Valentines Day!
Thought I'd share with you the painting that happened tonight...pretty cool. It's not done yet, I still want to put some finishing touches on it! The piece was definitely inspired by Nate's message, which was awesome by the way..totally a slap in the face but I needed it!
It's way past my bedtime. Goodnight!
in my room...and I'm not the biggest fan, but my suite mates love it...and love to play is very loudly! Haha I think I'll live though.
So it's Friday and I could not be more excited! This week has been the epitome of insane.
(side note- I can't stand the country music anymore...headphones on!)
Okay...so yeah week has been crazy and basically have had no social life. I left campus for about 3 hours yesterday to help Meghan out and run some errands but other than that it has been STUDY STUDY quiz STUDY quiz STUDY quiz STUDY STUDY test STUDY STUDY STUDY test (for realz)!
This week has been so crazy that I think I already talked about this in my last blog...dang.
Well it's the weekend and I think I deserve it...I have no idea what I will be doing but it will be fun and restful. Hit me up if you want to kick it!
This is the first time I have sat down since 6:30 this morning...it's almost 10 o'clock.
and it's only Wednesday...still have an oral presentation, study sessions, working and 2 more huge exams to go.
I am forcing myself to have a TRUE sabbath on Saturday. No homework. No work. No nothing...
I am only sleeping, watching movies, riding my bike and maybe I shall do some painting!
G'night.
I have had this blog in me for a few days but I couldn't seem to write it out...until now.
God is doing so much in me lately. It's been tough...really tough, but I feel like I've gone through 2 years of growth in 4 days...and I'm learning so much about me, the people around me and my future. I actually forgot how old I was today...funny. I thought I was twenty...a small difference, but really...it's been that long of a week...
Along with the growth God is truly calling something out in me. I feel like this whole week, in midst of all the growth (I need a thesaurus...growth is getting old) God is calling out the child in me; the little girl. Through the heartache of this week, He has given me an uncontrollable joy. I have been holding a genuine smile on my face, a smile that I can feel, a feeling I forgot.
As Heather and I drove back from our day trip in Mt. Shasta City on Saturday, I watched the sky. I was completely dumbfounded by the huge periwinkle blue sky, I felt so small between the mountains, looking up at the heavens. I felt so small. I smiled as I watched the sky turn. I was fixated on one cloud that didn't seem to fit with the surrounding landscape. I thought, "Hey Jesus...that cloud isn't the prettiest color, it's mauve...I'm not the biggest fan of mauve."
As soon as we made our way into Redding, the sun continued to disappear and as it did the mauve cloud turned into the BRIGHTEST most beautiful hot pink with a purple lining! Again I felt so small, and I smiled amazed at how great our Father is. He loves me, his daughter, so much that He desires to change a mauve colored cloud into the most beautiful thing, for me, His small little daughter.
It was just a small reminder, that during all the craziness of life, He wants me to be happy...not only a small fake smile, but an overflowing joy that can only be found in a daughter as she is held in the arms of her Father.
Oral communication...kill me.
Seriously I don't get it...so many words, theories and philosophies to define talking. Talking.
I don't even like talking! Why do I have to sit here?!
Maybe I need a class for "having a better attitude."
Shoot.
Mexican Train Dominos is where it's at.
You get me around a big table with a group of great friends and I'm stuck for hours playing this game...
Seriously go to the store and pick it up...and invite me to your house to play.
I've hit a wall this week.
I'm incredibly tired. Tired of lots of things. Tired of ignorant people but through it God is teaching me grace. Tired of classes and homework but still trying to be a good student. Tired of friends yet loving them so much and wanting to be with them all the time.
I'm tired and I have no idea why.
So I'm going away for the weekend with Jenna and some other girls.
I'm incredibly excited to get away but also wanting to stay home in Redding.
I know I will have so much fun and I truly need some time away with some refreshing people who only will lift me up during this time of uncertainty.
I'm breaking some promises and commitments that I made for this weekend, but I hope people will understand. I have lots...loads...mucho thinking to do and part of me thinks this is why I'm a little apprehensive about running away to the woods of Jenna's home town. But I know it's what I need to do, to get away from distractions and seek God.
Prayers needed.
I don't want to do anything...but the homework is piling up. I wish today could have bee a lazy day.
I had to force myself to wake up...
to go to old testament.
to go to World Civ (which I especially hate)
to go to Chapel.
to go to US History...
and now to do homework...is it the weekend yet?
"The question isn't if the government is too small or too big, it is if the government works!"
Now let's get united.
7:00 Wake up...hard to do after 5 hours of sleep.
8:00 Oral Communications...not so excited about that one.
9:30 Intro to Sociology...interesting class but a not so interesting professor.
11:00 Quick meeting with Emily about my job. Paperwork, Paperwork, Paperwork.
12:00 Lunch
2:00 Staff Meeting. Loved it...being apart of the team...sharing my ideas...love it.
4:00 Run to old office, catch up with the ladies and got my sunglasses adjusted.
5:00 Blockbuster, Jamba Juice, and pick up food for my mom.
5:59 Sitting here resting/reflecting on the day. This is going to be a crazy semester but I could not be more excited about it...Planning Erase the Dark, getting creative for the Stirring, my great friend Roseleen is now going to Simpson, and my roommate is engaged so that's fun...lots of other fun/ new things going on too!
Now I'm going to rest and catch up with my vampire friends...book 3. haha!
and a happy new year.
This morning I woke up and I think it was some kinda "freaky Friday" but "freaky Thursday" deal going on. Last night was New Years Eve, it did not feel like it at all. I hung out with my best friend Steph at her house, watching The Duchess, eating ice cream and in bed before 2am. All the while my parents were at Matt and Kendall's, playing Rockband, having a good ol' time and were not even home until 3:30am...Now I'm home from Steph's house and they are still sleeping.
So weird.
On another note, being that it's the New Year I thought I'd welcome in 2009 with a blog, I know my blogs have become scarce and far in between, but I'm pretty sure you all have gotten used to it.
I've never been a goal oriented person. If I ever set goals I usually forget about them, so I never know if I achieve them or not. Mostly, I think this is because I don't look to far into the future; I live in right now. It's not that I don't have dreams, I have plenty of dreams...
I would love to travel Europe (Norway, Sweden, England, Holland, Russia and so on.
I would love to one day open a Fair Trade and local artisan store called Hannah's Kloset.
I would love to work in India, Thailand, or Uganda.
But I have no idea when I will do these things, and it doesn't really matter. I could easily say I want to do all these things within the next ten years, but really, how realistic is that? I'm not trying to be a downer for people who have goals, but for me, I just can't do it. Life happens and far too many times have a put all my...whats the saying...something in a basket...let's say I have put all my pine cones in one basket and something changed or God has lead me on another path. From this point in my life, I know what God has lead me through has molded me into the person I am and I am grateful for where He has brought me...but at all costs I am going to avoid the disappointment and depression that I have already gone through.
I think this is starting to sound depressing.
For those dreams I have, there is no doubt in my mind that I won't do them but it may be when I'm in my 50's or 60's and that is completely okay. Because life happens, in the next year I see myself finishing the semester with passing grades (there's a resolution), putting on an amazing Erase the Dark, having great times with friends and family and continuing my journey following Christ. So I guess I laid out some pretty good goals for me...but who knows after that? Not me.
